“When
a Much-Loved Pet Begins To Fail. Part I
of ‘?’: One Plans For The Present”
09/09/12
To my very, very dearest friends, and always
constant, loyal readers,
While I may have but briefly made mention of it, for
the past several months—now—my dear canine companion, “Daisy”, has, I think,
begun to fail, and to witness, must reluctantly, her health decline quite
beyond anything that I can possibly do for her.
While I cannot turn the clock backwards for either
of us, fully as much as I would like to; although I can—with medication—treat her
symptoms, and perhaps much lessen her pain, no power on earth can stop the
clock, nor prevent the invariable illnesses, and failings that come with
advancing age.
If you will but kindly refer to my profile here at
MDJunction, you will find among the photographs placed there, a couple of
Daisy, “The Best Dog On The Planet.”
These pictures taken almost four years ago, show a
younger, healthier, ‘full-of-life’ Daisy, who now is so very changed, and
diminished from those long-ago portraits.
Actually, my dearest friends, it has only been
within the last six months, that Daisy’s energy and strength have been much changed.
Since I do not have a car, nor could I even drive
one if I had, I’ve had the ‘mobile’ vet come out to the house in one of those
large R.V.s that seem longer than the front of my front yard. And costs about $347.00 for each visit; this
includes examination, any shots daisy needs or medication that Daisy may need.
When Daisy last needed her yearly shots, I think the
tab came to $457.00, all of which I simply slap on the credit card.
In the past, when I have paid a neighbor to drop
Daisy off at a local animal hospital ( even if it were for grooming, only ),
the neighbor would drop Daisy off early in the morning, and then pick her up at
five or six o’clock at night. When I
found out that after Daisy’s visit, while waiting for a ride home, she would be
put in a close cage out back in the kennel, to wait, and wait, for hours, until
her would be picked up.
I decided I did want Daisy to have to wait, stuffed
in a cage, without guarantee of food, water, or company. This I found to be intolerable, and nothing
like what I wanted for my dog.
And so, dearest friends, I engage now both the mobile
vet, and the mobile groomer; in that fashion, the vet and her assistant examine
Daisy in her home, and I have seen them sitting on the carpet in the Study,
petting, and talking to Daisy; I figured that the examinations—while not—perhaps—as
accurate, were still must less of a trail for her, plus I could evaluate their
approach to Daisy, and her response to them.
And I have to say that Dr. Wheaston and her associate are wonderfully
kind, and caring individuals.
And then, any medication that the good doctor might prescribe
can be mailed to me, again charged to my credit card.
Since May, I believe I have had Dr. Wheaston come
out to the house four or five times. The
medication is expensive, too, but…in my heart, I can do nothing less for Daisy,
who has been a loving, canine companion—now—for nearly thirteen years.
Every morning, and evening, I have to ready Daisy’s
medicines, breaking the pills, and capsule up, and adding them ( and the liquid
medications ) into a large syringe (without the needle at the end), adding some
warm water to help the pills dissolve, and some garlic powder, to help disguise
some of the medications nasty, bitter taste.
Then, leaving a little air in the syringe, I shake
it up to fully integrate the powdered medications into the liquid, and when
ready, push the plunger on the syringe to remove any extra air inside.
Then comes the battle royalle. I almost have to sit on Daisy ( as if she
were a horse!), to hold her collar, lift her head, and open her mouth with my
left hand, as I quickly dispense the contents of the syringe into her mouth,
making doubly sure that she is not aspirating any of it. All the time I am crooning to her,
apologizing for hurting her in any way, that the medication will help her, and
to swallow, swallow, swallow and not spit up the medications; I tell her over
and over again that I love her so much, and would never knowingly hurt her.
Of course, she gets it all over her, me, my glasses,
and I’ve learned to keep a couple of moist, paper towels to hand, to clean up
both dog and man!
The very second I let go, she’s off like a rocket,
and even as unsteady as she is sometimes, she will bolt to hide in the Study,
or back in the bedroom.
Immediately after I give her her meds, I follow it
up with three of four soft-chew treats (at $9.50 a small bag!), to reward her
for taking her medication so admirably, and that ‘Daddy’ still loves her.
And…not long thereafter, I will hear her little
claws against the laminate floor getting louder, as she finally comes out to
where I am, and lies down on the rug near where I am sitting.
She also like to lie on her stomach, with right paw
curled under her, chin resting on the rug, as she thrashes it back and forth,
and wags her tail…typically ‘happy dog’.
Of course, I stop whatever I may be doing to get down on the floor next
to her, to scratch her head and ears, calling her all kinds of little pet
names.
Sometimes, she will roll on her back, lifting up her
front paws, so I can scratch her stomach.
She especially loves to be told what a good, good girl she is, and that
she’s my buddy and my pal.
However…Dr. Wheaston believes that Daisy has an
enlarged heart, with a possible mitral valve leak—about which nothing can be done,
and some possible fluid retention on the lungs which we are treating prophylactically
with Lasix and potassium, and a pill to help regulate her heart beat.
Daisy is now quite blind in her left eye from
unaddressed cataracts; for as much as I would like to help to possibly restore
her vision (and, there is a chance of it developing it in her right eye as
well), please forgive me friends, but, the operation to have both eyes done
would cost $3,500.00, and, one eye—alone—would cost $2,400.00. I just don’t
have that kind of money; $3,500.00 would be more than three and a half months
of my S.S.D.I. income! I’m already—if you
will kindly excuse me—‘quite chasing my tail’ with my credit card now.
And Daisy has a number of bare areas on her from
scratching dry, and itchy skin, being also allergic to fleas, and any number of
pollens, grasses, etc. I am giving Daisy medication for her allergies, and have
topical, anti-itch, Benadryl cream that I apply to those areas that have become
inflamed and reddened; she is also getting Omega-nine fish oil, and garlic to
help with her coat, and to help fight the fleas, besides the monthly use of a
flea medication. And Heart guard, given
monthly to protect against heart worms.
Of course, my dearest friends, what cannot be
treated is Daisy’s age, and predisposition to disease, and the humid climate
here. Except for brief forays outside to
pee, and etc., Daisy mostly stays inside, in the air-conditioning. And she now takes more frequent, and longer
naps.
And because Daisy will NOT go outside if it is
raining, or thundering ( well, come to think of it, I avoid it as well !),
sometimes then, or during the night if she has to go, she will pee on the
floor; I cannot get angry with her for that.
She pees in mostly the same place; when I did have money, and could do
some repairs to the house, I purposely had a piece of linoleum inset in the
bamboo laminate out in the living room, so it could be her ‘bathroom, should
she need it! I also put down several ‘puppy incontinent’ pads which have an
attractant to draw Daisy to where they are, and are good until she wets
them. I know when she has done this, as
she also gathers the pads up in a pile.
What is funny is that I’ve received a number of compliments on how nice
that inset, and framed piece of linoleum looks in the living room…as if it were
an intended design element. Everyone
always laughs when I tell them that it is Daisy’s bathroom!
It is altogether too ‘gloomy and doomy’ outside,
with intermittent thunderstorms making dark and foreboding the sky. It is definitely a ‘stay in’/’play in’/sleep
in’/’eat in’ day.
My own pain level—if it can be rated with any
fidelity—is hovering somewhere around 6.5 on a 1—10 point scale.
Having been ‘medded up’, Daisy is presently asleep
on the rug in the Study, where I am currently writing this entry.
So far, Dr. Wheaston is scheduled to come out this
Wednesday to see Daisy; frankly, I am not a good judge of how Daisy is progressing,
or…failing. Maybe the good doctor will
be able with some greater facility to assess Daisy’s health, maybe—though in my
heart I absolutely dread it—some kind of at least speculated timetable as to
Daisy’s complete failure.
About all I can ( or want) to have to consider is
that I love my Daisy so very, very much; she’s been a major part of my life for
almost thirteen years, and that I would never hurt her, or see her do without.
I also know I do not want her to suffer, needlessly,
regardless of my dependence upon her as a loving companion, and my absolute,
chilling fear of—perhaps—having to make ‘that’ decision.
Yet, while it is already breaking my heart to even
have to think of this, should it inescapably have to be done, it can be done
here, at home where Daisy is comfortable, and where I can sit on the floor
beside her, holding her, kissing her, petting, and talking to her as she would
be made to gently drift off to a permanent sleep.
As you may imagine, I’ve prayed, and prayed—perhaps,
asking for miracles, for deliverance, for healing—praying, too, for pain
relief, and rest…frankly, for us both.
But, friends, every time I let my mind briefly play
over what—in fact—may have to be done, I just sit there and cry and cry and cry
until my eyes are gluey, and nose is full of crap, and I feel so empty, so
completely sad, and alone; and yet—not three feet away from me—Daisy is
relaxed, sleeping, quite unaware of ‘Daddy’s great distress.
For I have had Daisy with me for so long, I now have
difficulty remembering a time when I didn’t have her.
Does any of this make any sense? Am I being overly sentimental, or too
selfish? Do I fear an empty house, and
loneliness that much?
I look to you, my dearest friends, and loyal readers
for your help, your wisdom, your strength, your compassion, and your
experiences. For surely so many of you
have pets. Or have had to make decisions
about their care, and well-being.
Kindly, please leave your comments, below.
I wish for you a quiet—yet wonderful—weekend, in no
pain or distress, and in full surrounded by friends and family who love you,
and care for you.
I wish plenty for you tables, and a safe and comfortable
environment. I wish extra funds for you
to be able—should you so want—to go out, but always, to enjoy life.
At end of day, I wish for you a dreamy, soft, and
warm sense of tiredness. And, a
restorative, and blissful rest, as always kept safe, and surrounded by angels.
And
please, please know I love you dearly!
‘Zahc’/Charles
