“For
Your Most Kind Consideration: Approval, Satisfaction, Happiness, And…Joy!”
Part
I of III
“Random
Thoughts Without Words, Words Without Meaning, Meanings Without Understanding:
The Process Begins”
10/03/12
To my dearest, wonderful friends, and patient, loyal
readers,
I must confess to you—my dear friends—that I spend
perhaps an inordinate amount of time out at the kitchen counter, sitting in a
use-worn, second-hand ‘office chair, trying to relax (usually waiting for pain
medication to take its effect), eyes closed, head resting on hand, quiet, in
the contemplation of Life, and its many ramifications.
Sometimes I have a neglected and rapidly cooling cup
of lousy coffee just before me; most often smoking a cigarette, while my dear
canine—Daisy—is on the rug beside me, usually fast asleep. I imagine that she
is pursuing her own imaginings, some similar to mine, some quite alien, I
suppose.
I oftentimes wonder what happiness is, and why it
seems to be such a transient, and elusive quality.
In a highly subjective consideration of causality—in
a vague reference to A. Maslow’s “Hierarchy Of Needs”—in its most simple
interpretation, needs can be divided, most conveniently into subsets: those of
the animal/physical, and those of the cerebral/spiritual; and along these two
different (though, not necessarily mutually exclusive!) poles can be charted
the span of human development, from base need satisfaction, to the cerebral
concept of happiness, to the more ephemeral latitudes of the Spirit which
begin—ostensibly—with joy, until an absolute state of Nirvana, or ‘Bliss’ is
experienced.
Admittedly, the latter concerns heady stuff, indeed!
However, it must be stated that, although
we—perhaps—yearn for that celebratory reaction which elicits in us feelings of
joy and elation, in the conduct of our ‘normal’, everyday lives, we settle
easily upon those strategies, plans, directions, and intentions that sound in
us some large measure of reactive happiness; failing that, how often do we
settle upon that which merely satisfies?
Or that which is ‘event’ oriented, and temporal, locked into time and
place, to be repeated over and over again.
As an example of animal/physical satisfaction as
related to repetitive need, I would ask of you—my dear, dear friends to consider
hunger/nutrition/satisfaction.
At differing times of the day, we usually experience
the feelings of hunger. It is an animal/physical need, as it is a regular part
of the life cycle.
When we experience hunger, the most obvious reaction
is to find some sort of nourishment that will answer to the need, and thus
‘satisfy’ it. The body is not
particularly choosy; it will gladly accept almost anything, whether it be a
peanut butter and jelly sandwich, to a five-course, gourmet dinner!
For the body to be satisfied, in this one regard,
hunger—as an hierarchic need—is sated easily by:
1)
Food
A)
Safe and not dangerous to eat,
B)
In sufficient quantities to insure
health and functioning.
And in too many parts of the
world—regrettably—happiness, or unhappiness, or survival, even can be stated
thusly:
1)
Hunger/Food/Survival=Happiness
2)
Hunger/Starvation/Death=Unhappiness
But as has evidenced in most cultures as a whole, in
general, and Western Cultures (America, and to a slightly lesser degree, all
English-speaking cultures, in particular), our perception of happiness is
almost solely influenced by the phenomenon of almost endless ‘choice’.
I once idly complained to a friend that while I was
to a degree hungry, still I did not know what to have for supper, and—in
fact—did not even remotely feel like cooking.
My friend thought for a second and then asked me if
I had ever ‘missed a meal’? To which I would add if you have ever found
yourself staring vacantly at the open kitchen cupboards, and cannot—within a
reasonable amount of time (for our purposes, say, 30-40 seconds), decide what
to prepare, then you have choices, options, often to that which can be prepared
in the least amount of time! (This is NOT to be confused with finding NO food
there!).
Further, how often have we groused about having to
eat bologna sandwiches when we actually ‘have’ a taste for steak; and that this
dissatisfaction causes us to be quite unhappy.
Especially if we believe that the neighbors have steak at least once a
week. How tempting is that aroma of meat
cooked on an outside grill?
In truth, for survival’s sake, we require basically
three things, in order of immediate importance:
1)
Air to breathe
2)
Potable water
3)
Edible food
Edible food means only that; it does not mean steak,
or lobster, or whatever. Tonight—for
example—I found myself only marginally hungry; I knew—however—that if I did not
find something to eat before I went to bed, my blood glucose level would cause
me to feel dizzy, diaphoretic (sweaty), light-headed, slow of thought, and
response, and generally miserable.
What I finally put together was one of my long-time
favorites: a bologna and nacho-flavored ‘Dorito’ sandwich!, with diet, decaf.
Arizona iced tea with honey and ginseng. No…it was not steak, even if I had
wanted steak. But, dear friends, it did
not HAVE to be steak. At the time, my
subsequent feeling of happiness concerned a feeling of relative fullness, the
matter of taste, and the consequent ‘healthy’ levels of blood glucose, and the
satisfaction one feels systemically when levels are kept within normal limits.
However, as I have seen in my own life, and in
others at MDJunction, and elsewhere is a shift in priorities in meeting
hierarchical needs, and any feelings of satisfaction, happiness, or joy
associated with them.
I—for example—am disabled, ill, in frequent
unutterable pain, on oxygen and tons of medical medications, some psychotropic
medications for ‘anxiety/panic attacks’, and depression/agoraphobia,
and—probably—four or five medications for pain, only.
Were I to list all the medications that I take—and
the majority of which I must continue to take, including those medications I
take ‘as needed’ for specific complaints—you would doubtless think me
over-medicated, and—reasonably—I could not, in truth, say that you were wrong
in your assumption. I would have to
argue—though—that many help sustain my health and wellbeing, and ability to
function (even at a much-reduced level).
And so, even though my medications as a aggregate
amounts to—perhaps—10-20% of my monthly income.
I also rely—most heavily—upon my oxygen
concentrator, nebulizer, and tanks of oxygen.
Out of necessity, I have had to re-order the
hierarchy of my needs, to wit:
While I could go several days, possibly as long as a
week—or even slightly more—without food (as might figuratively be a concern
nearer the end of any particular month), it might well be argued that I could
not breathe without my oxygen equipment.
One may, of course successfully argue—according my
own listed need hierarchy—that air to breathe does logically rank before the
need for edible, sufficient food.
I would like to suggest to you a variation on need
primacy. Since I am oxygen dependent
upon external generating equipment and/or supplies, I could not long withstand
(comfortably, at least!) having to live without electricity.
For me—then—there is a greater ‘need’ to be able to
pay the electric bill each month, when the bill for such usage could be placed
with other such bills, of a primacy LOWER than that of purchasing food!
This is what I have observed occurring more and more
often these days (especially when disability, prolonged illness(es), etc.
coincide with severely reduced incomes, inability to provide for children or
self, and forced lack of access to medical care) is that—in consequence—nearly
everyone is miserable to one degree or another, unsatisfied with what is left
of the ‘status quo’, and reeling, quite unable to successfully problem solve,
or to willingly make changes in order to adapt and to survive.
And it is out of these feelings of paralysis and
hopelessness, and the inability to cope or to thrive that we find ourselves
unhappy, sad, and depressed.
We ruefully discover that we are too busy trying to
meet daily physical needs. Scarce
attention is paid to the goal of personal happiness, and, much less—still—to be
able to experience joy, elation, or the proper nourishment of the soul.
End
of Part I
Part
II of IV to follow
My very dearest friends, and wonderfully loyal
readers, please know that I think of you so very often, and that I love you so
very, very dearly!
‘Zahc’/Charles
