“
Friend’s Day !” : A Holiday Kept Within The Heart “
04/20/12
To my most kind, and caring friends, who in their
hearts have befriended me; my ever-constant, supportive readers, both of whom
have sustained me, kept the inevitability of silent loneliness at bay, and who
truly make my heart happy, while—else, in major pain---would oft despair, I
offer up to you, my dearest friends my thanks and gratitude…
If you are like me—perhaps in this singular
regard—you make full use of a calendar to record your physician’s appointments,
times when bills are due, and must be paid; or to record events, such as
birthdays and anniversaries which might otherwise pass your notice, or… in
these later years (most importantly), times when medications can be refilled.
And, so often, the little squares beneath each day
become a scribbled nightmare; but in consideration of the general frailty of
memory, especially memory that is clouded by near-unending pain, depression, or
despair, we NEED those little squares to organize our lives; for, who would
dare to miss a grandchild’s birthday?
Or, fail to show up for a Pain Manager’s office visit, when it’s the
only way you can get those direly needed prescriptions that scarce hold sinew
and limb together, and, without which, owing to our psychiatric, and physical
suffering, we would soon be in the deepest of deep shit.
You already know the calendar lists all the
‘regular’ holidays, many of which have been conveniently moved, to be observed
on a Friday or a Monday, to allow mostly government employees to take advantage
of a ‘three-day’ weekend off. For most
of us, these ‘moved’; holidays do not have much meaning; we—if we are
interested at all—are more concerned with the dates that Christmas or Hanukah,
or Thanksgiving, or, Mother’s Day, or Father’s Day falls on, to give us warning
of how much time we may have left in which to get ready for, and prepare.
And should you even bother—beyond half a glance in
noticing it—our calendars have become awash in what I would call, ‘ second, or
third tier holidays’; supposed weeks and days observed for all kinds of
obscure, silly, and often strange events.
While, ‘Secretary’s Day’ and, for those who would
insist upon it, ‘Professional Administrative Assistant’s Day’!, (for how much
emphasis do we now place in a job title, which—nonetheless—does not in any way
imply getting a raise!), might prove to be a day on which such laborers receive
a card, and an extremely small gathering--
in a careless vase--of a very cheap gathering of three very, lonely flowers,
and perhaps a paid lunch by the ‘Boss’; to such oddities as, “Boss’s Day”, and
‘National French Fry Week’ (which I made up, but that might as well be listed
among the drift of such obscurity, that we look at them, and laugh).
I somehow believe these odd holidays to be machinations of the Greeting Card Industry,
who also happen to have—for example—cards
such as, ‘Merry Christmas to my Mother’s second husband’, or cards that
one can send to one’s pet. And believe
me, my dear, sweet friends, such cards are routinely purchased to be mailed.
There is—I think—a most-needed holiday as yet not
found on any calendar, beyond a card that says, ‘Thinking of You!, that has no
particular day assigned to it, and certainly one not observed on either a
Friday or a Monday, or, at any time, really, that is nevertheless just as
important.
“Friend’s
Day!”
For me, the celebration of ‘Friend’s Day !’ came
about by sheerest accident, some three or so years ago. My dear, dear friend Joan and I would—on
occasion—see some little something that we each thought the other would like;
these gifts were not expensive, but did
involve care and consideration in selecting that little, ‘perfect thing’, which
then, was painstakingly gift-wrapped. An
accompanying note affirming our friendship was sent in hopes of providing a
smile of delight (especially, as most of us like gifts). Especially, unexpected ones!!!
There was no regular occasion or it; it was not
Christmas, or either of our birthdays.
Nor, was it an already accepted holiday on the calendar. For some time,
neither of us could come up with a name for this surprise event. Upon thinking
of it, we—at last—decided to call them, ‘ Friend’s Day !’ gifts, on a holiday
we now called ‘ Friend’s Day !’, to celebrate the day. These, little surprises--free from any
legislation-- could thus be given at any time during the year…mostly, when we either of us had a
little, extra money. But again, I want
to emphasis that cost—per se—was not a consideration.
Imagine, sometime during the week, receiving a
prettily wrapped package, with a note of love and friendship attached. Would it not--perhaps—make your heart
glad? Particularly not having been
expected; their untimed arrival adding to the surprise?
Should you have dearest friends, who have faithfully
remained by your side, helping you, encouraging you, giving you their
attention, and their love, what better way to thank them than with some small
and special gift! Once more, it doesn’t
have to cost a fortune, the cost is not the point, but besides any regular
communication with them, lets them know just how very special they are to you,
and how grateful you are to them for their constancy and friendship, and…love.
A little box of homemade cookies, nicely wrapped, or
even some bauble found on sale will more than suffice; for after all, its
‘Friend’s Day!’, a celebration held spontaneously without regard to the
calendar. It’s a holiday in which to
celebrate all of your dearest friends.
What means most is not the cost, but the remembrance, made greater when
accompanied by a little present, and a short poem, or note, written especially
for them,
You do not have to be a Shakespeare, and your five
year old may draw better than can you; even if you take a blank piece of paper,
and with crayons, draw flowers, trees, a bright sun shining over stick-figure,
smiling ‘people’, with a written note that says, “I love you, my dearest
friend!” and place it in an envelope, you will send a message from your heart
far greater than any literary tome.
And as you-- when of necessity--pause to write upon
your calendars, times and places, needs, and requirements, I urge you to stop
for just a minute when you can, to consider adopting a ‘Friend’s Day!’ of your
own. Of course—with some slight
changes—this works extremely well with others who are special in your life;
spouses, partners, children, neighbors…anyone who has—from their kind hearts,
made your life a little brighter.
Most recently, I sent to my friend, Joan (who is
disabled, nearly blind, and who has extreme pain, when trying to walk), a
single pair of sandals, I actually picked up on sale, as I—too--must ever keep
vigilant guard on my finances; they were comfortable; she loved the turquoise
color…and…they fit! She can wear them
while she’s in her electric cart, and around her apartment.
There was no special day for them; I just happened to
see them (and the sale price, which—for me—made them affordable!), and in
thinking of her friendship, and her love and kindness, had my dear C.N.A. wrap
them up in a beautiful paper, and deliver them to her. And knowing Joan, even this small gift will
make her happy, and will help to keep her happy all the rest of the day, and
beyond; sometimes, its little joys that help sustain us, for both the giver,
and the recipient.
My truly dear, and caring friends, I think of you
often, and wish for you days of lessened, or of ‘no pain’, or distress. I wish you never know hunger, or sadness; nor
regret about the Past or Present. I wish
your pantries be full. I hope from the
demonstrated kindness of your hearts to always, always report abuse.
I wish for you peaceful, lambent days of comfort,
surrounded—full—by ones who truly love and care for you, whether they be family
or friends. And hope that you can—in
return—express your love to them. I wish
you pleasant afternoons of quiet, grateful contemplation of all your blessings. And nights of quiet, and restorative sleep, free
from nightmare or pain, as ever, kept safe, secure, and blessed by flights of
gentle angels.
Please
know I love you dearly, my, ‘Friend’s Day!’ friends, when—for, my thoughts of
you—every day is ‘Friend’s Day!’,
‘Zahc'/Charles
