”An Innocence Of Days: A Fibro-Flare”

10/04/13

 

 

To my wonderfully dear friends, and…ever-kind and loyal readers,

 

 

 

 

To you, my dear friends, companions in this Journey we all take; foregathered and assembled, pledged in concert to fight the evilness of our illnesses, and to all whose most loyal, and encouraging readership ever gladdens me.  I owe to you so much; for comforting me; for listening to my oft repeated whining.

 

For your soft, and gentle understanding I could--in truth--find NO where else; or to such complete and ready acceptance of me without pause, nor censure, nor complaint, my offered thanks and gratitude seems not enough.

 

 

Especially in those, ‘awful', hours, which would want to sweep away my mind and soul.

 

Perhaps as limned in my portrait of my pain, along with yours, I've found a special place for you within my heart. There, I would ever hope to keep you safe, and far-away from any pain, or lasting distress or despair.

 

I think so often of you, my dear friends, and wish should I control all base elements, and existence rife with turmoil, days of misery times infinity; of honest tears shed in that recoil from an horror of too--routine agony; of useless, seeming endless nights of broken rest, denying any hope of restoration for the next day.

 

   
I know that look of dumbstruck pain; of red-rimmed eyes; of avoiding any mirror-glass to avoid that terror'd view of suffering, without apparent end, nor any hope of cure; that makes the passing clock a hated judge, the verdict: life-long pain.

 

And yet, you have named me a friend, and so, as such, I would wish you all blessed respite, and a joyed-return to ‘normalness', to be as others: ever unaffected, ever unafraid.

 

 

 

 “An Innocent Of Days; A ‘Fibro Flare’...”

 

I

 

An innocent of days, a ‘fibro flare' collided with some sudden fury, everywhere was-once again-despoiled as soon the pain destroyed the softness of the day, without mind, or care.

 

II

 

The promised, warming sunshine soon clouded with an haze, so that every, blessed hour was made a bright mockery in varied, tortured ways excised what gladness I did have, and made me frail, uncaring, and afraid.

 

III

 

While gentle breezes passed my opened door; they tantalized a body wracked by chills, ‘mid rampant headache trembled me, so that I must beware my coffee lest it spills.

 

IV

 

I did not, could not play with my happy pet, now long deceased; and yet, I think she knew my suffering made me cold, and, she knew these ‘fibro flares' often made me cry. She knew, even as I—in time—knew her aged pain. I feel SO old

 

V

 

with all my body's cells as if on fire, with blurry eyes that cannot see the way. These greater ‘fibro' pains in all its hellishness conspire to ruin yet another gilded, precious day:

 

VI

 

A gift from God, although I fought for it, but lost. Two, hand-fulls of pills I offered it; could off ‘ring more, pay dreaded, ‘fibro's' cost? Must I--in grief and sorrow--finally admit?,

 

VII

 

That ‘fibro flares' will always, always win, to trump another blissful afternoon; in searching, praying find no relief within. It sacrificed my happiness, my sense of peace, and soon

 

VIII

 

A nap was needed, and into a colder bed I crawled, grateful for some little, hoped for sleep. The coming night is--too soon--upon us, as now, instead, the house lamps are lit bright, their welcome keep.

 

IX

 

Oh! But could I tear this anguished pain from me and from my all my friends, for I would wish them some ‘pain-free', and peaceful place: where reigns a joyous ‘normalcy'; to triumph over ‘fibro flare': the agony that has NO face.

 

End

 

Oh, my dearest, precious friends, please know that I think of you so very often, and that I love you dearly,

 

 

 

‘Zahc’/Charles