‘”Depression,
The Secret We Share”*’
02/24/14
To
my dear, dear friends, and always constant readers,
Please forgive me, my dearest friends from being noticeably
absent from my MDJunction diary.
In addition to the seemingly endless and horrible
pain, the blindness in my left eye, I have been so depressed; it is like a void
of emotion that—itself—confers anxiety and frustration.
But more…it is a depression that singularly robs the
will, and makes vacant the intellect.
Too often, I sit quietly out at the kitchen counter
with my head in hands, eyes closed, listening only to the faint ticking of the
clock as it overtakes the beating of my heart.
My sleep is broken, and nightmare-filled; but—strangely—what
I often feel most like doing in hiding in bed, covered-up, hoping that some
errant sleep will drown out the pain, and, actually, use up empty hours of the
day.
I rarely now leave the house, and feel withdrawn
from a world that I know functions perfectly well without me.
And this enervating depression robs me of all my
motivation, search for meaning, and…appetite, as I linger from medication dose
to medication dose; wearily hoping for some new interest to captivate my
faltering attention.
It leaves me feeling quite empty inside, with little
hope or care for each, new day.
(“The
opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality”*)
- Andrew Solomon, at a TED [Technology/Entertainment/and Discovery] Symposium, held in Monterrey, California]
Occasionally, I happen to find a video of a lecture
that is so compelling, so appropriate, that it is my desire to try to share it
with you, my precious friends.
In
this video, entitled: “Depression, The Secret We Share”, Andrew Solomon
recounts his own—and other’s—journey into darkest depression and anxiety.
His account was utterly amazing, as I could see
myself so well in his illness, and treatment.
Every sentence, every word rang true, and I have
saved his talk to listen to whenever I most need it.
The
internet address is:
If you—or a loved one is suffering from most severe
and intractable depression and anxiety, I urge you to please watch this amazing
and important video by Andrew Solomon.
And,
should it prove to be of even some, slight help, I would ask you to please,
please leave your comments below.
Again--,u dearest friends—I would ask you to please,
please please forgive me as I labor-through this struggle; a struggle that, for
some time, seems to be without end or relief in sight.
Please
do know that I think of you so very often, and that I love you dearly!
‘Zahc’/Charles
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