“Happiness. Gratitude”
05/28/14
To
my always dearest friends and constant, loyal readers,
Again, my friends, please excuse my long absence.
In my last entry, I spoke of the profound sadness I
had been experiencing.
One of the problems with extreme sadness—should it
go unrelieved—is the very likely chance that it will drop through the black
hole of severe depression; which is what again happened to me.
I found myself merely going through the motions of
daily living, without, really, giving it any regard.
Fueled by savage pain and nightmared and inconstant
sleep, I wanted to ‘feel’ as little as possible and ‘do’ as little as possible.
Depression knows no time table, and keeps no
schedule; it is gradually that it slowly begins to lift, finally offering some
relief.
To my latest entry, I received four heart-warming
comments.
One—written by member, ‘LoneDove’—spoke not of
sadness, but, rather of the elements in her life that caused her to be happy. Which gave me occasion to step-back and to
think.
And it was she who so kindly gave me permission to
share her comments with you:
written by LoneDove, April
21, 2014
Oh Zahc, your writing is so beautiful... even
when full of sadness.
I don't have sadness to share as to date, despite my illness, my life is full of happiness and I focus on that every single day.
I focus on the sun rise, I focus on the bird song, I focus on the children laughing as they walk to school.
I see happiness in my dogs' smiles and in the hug I receive every night from the loving arms wrapped around me when my husband walks through the door.
I see happiness in my children's triumphs and in the sparkle in my nephew's eyes.
I wish for you only happiness dear friend. Every day you live to fight is a day worth celebrating and I'm glad you have a part in mine.
Brightest Blessings .
I don't have sadness to share as to date, despite my illness, my life is full of happiness and I focus on that every single day.
I focus on the sun rise, I focus on the bird song, I focus on the children laughing as they walk to school.
I see happiness in my dogs' smiles and in the hug I receive every night from the loving arms wrapped around me when my husband walks through the door.
I see happiness in my children's triumphs and in the sparkle in my nephew's eyes.
I wish for you only happiness dear friend. Every day you live to fight is a day worth celebrating and I'm glad you have a part in mine.
Brightest Blessings .
Though
our life circumstances are different: she has a loving spouse, children, and
(pets!), I live quite alone.
And,
I do not know the personal burdens she must bear.
Still…I
would like to offer her my most sincere admiration and respect for her
determination to seek out, and to find happiness wherever it may be found.
Unutterable
pain, seemingly without end, depression, remorse, uncertainty about the future,
doubt, and despair are all killers of happiness.
Which
is not to say that I do not experience happiness; but my hapinesses—however—are
transient, fleeting, and ephemeral, often beginning with a smile, and ending
with a laugh.
The
sight—for example—of the early rising sun reflected from every dewy blade of
grass and petalled flower is a welcome tonic for a bad night and ruined sleep.
My
next-door neighbors have chickens, roosters, peeps, and peafowl. Several times a day, they manage to jump the
fence into my yard to peck at the bird seed I have thrown there. Their antics do make me laugh.
As
does the sight of cardinals, bluebirds, robins, squirrels, and those very tiny,
little lizards that dart-about on my back deck.
And
while happiness may often be in short supply, I remain so very, very grateful
for my blessings.
You
cannot know—my dear, dear friends here at MDJunction just how precious is your
friendship to me.
Your
‘hugs’, ‘PM’s’, warm my heart, and I am ever grateful for your reading—and making
comments to—my diary. It is then that I feel as if I have some senses of
purpose.
I
wish for you so much for no pain, or-if it must be so—then certainly much
lessened pain, depression or despair.
May
your days be bright and wonderful. May
you never know want, surrounded in full by those who love you and care for you.
Wishing
you nights of blissful sleep, as ever watched over by gentle angels.
And
may your kind hearts always be filled with happiness and joy!
Please know that even in my absences, I think
about you so very often, and that I love you dearly!
"Zahc"/Charles
‘Zahc’