| Aug 25 2011 |
08/25/11
To my dear friends, fellow suffers, and to all of you who have so very kindly encouraged and supported me in reading my Diary entries, and making much needed comments, both of encouragementAND criticism, I would very much--today--like to share with you something I have but recently discovered, but have found to be far-reaching, and most profound for both my physical, and mental wellbeing, that, I am surprised that it had not occured to me before, while, many of you will have doubtless discovered it, and to you, I laud your insight and your strength of purpose.
It is--in fact--the necessity of declaring for yourself, and establishing with little or no compromise, a , 'Me Day'; it sounds so simple, doesn't it ? I had earlier discussed this with my MDJunction friend, '1magicman', and now, wish to discuss it with you, my dear, dear readers. For my last, 'Me Day' proved to be so wonderful, that--today--I am having one again. Of course, being on disability, and unemployed, and alone ( except for the best dog on the planet ), perhaps I can afford to indulge in such behavior, but, no matter your circumstances, your family, your children, your pet, your pain, or your jobs--should you have them--, or, your spouses, you can readily modify your time, so that, you--too-- can enjoy at least a 'mini-Me Day'.
First, upon looking at the calendar ( which will be your friend ), I noticed that I had no obligations, today, no doctor's visits to worry about, no one scheduled to come over, in essence, a 'blank day', I decided to try to make of it, a quiet, peaceful, and contemplative one, rather than to get caught up in obligations, worries, and the often pre-ocupation with my pain, depression, and agoraphobia. Its surprisingly easy to do, if you will but do it, to the fullest extent that you can. Here goes, my wonderful friends, and readers:
1) Sleep as late as you want; should you have to arise early, either for bathroom calls or to take medications, as soon as you have, retire again to bed, until you naturally wake up...no matter how late in the morning it may be; for remember...this is , 'Your' day, not anyone elses'.
2) I slept in my underwear, and intend to wear it all day, for, should, later, I desire a nap ( another dictum of 'Me Day', I don't have to keep changing clothes. Should anyone actually come to the house today, I can always tell them to wait, or, close their eyes, while I put on a pair of walking shorts.
3) Pay no attention to 'clock' time; eat, when you are hungry, by being hungry, no matter how you may feel otherwise, it will help you find the strength to prepare something to eat.
4) Turn the television off, and keep it off; while I understand some people must watch their soaps, or, Jerry Springer, or news, I find a day without television to be enormously liberating. Besides, I detest the Jerry Springer show for its neverending parade of loud, violent dysfunction, which only disturbs, and disquiets me, as really does the news. For unless I want to keep track of an oncoming hurricane, I can safely manage a day ( or two ) without the voilence, the disasters, the people and animal abuse, the killings, and the global uprisings, frankly--about which--neither you nor I can do anything about.
5) And while I admit this is habit, do NOT feel compelled to drop everything to run to answer the telephone just because it rings; while I have a land line, I also have 'caller I.D.', and can see who's calling; it is rarely dear friends, as they have been told that, today is a 'Me Day'; that does not mean that if a friend calls, I will not answer it. But, how many telephone calls are from 'Unknown Callers', potential scammers, political bombardments, or, just, unheard of 'charities' who want money, etc. They have only distracted and upset you, and, have wasted YOUR time. Remember, this is, 'Your Day', and it is as presious as gold. This is especially true of cell phones, which--really--just make you too available to others.
6) Should you be so inclined, offer a sincere prayer to whatever Deity in which you believe; offer up thanks, gratitude. And ask for direction, guidance, purpose, help, though, I found to my dismay AND shame, that too often, my prayers were as Santa's wish lists; while it is perfectly O.K. to ask for intervention, and pain relief, and for the strength with which to cope, asking God to please give me a grand piano, a Lincoln Town car, or, for a Lottery win, eventually, seemed--somehow--to be disrepectful, unnecessary, and a colossal waste of BOTH our times; and while I will hardly admit to being perfect, as certainly I am not, I found it more fullfilling to ask for forgiveness, and if anything else, to pray as Solomon was supposed to have done: to be able to discern an honest heart. If pain in your knees prevents you from kneeling, the really neat thing about prayers is that they can be said quietly, and, anywhere you happen to be.
7) Spend more time--today--with your children--if you have them--and your pets, who love you, even when you, in an agony of pain, are short tempered, grouchy, and would be left alone. For 'Me Day' will involve a lot of time on the carpet with my dear dog, just so I can tell her over and over, just how very much I love her, and of how very important she is to me, and to my life.
8) Whenever you feel like taking a nap, take it, with no excuses, nor explanations; only you know how you feel, and a nap at the right time of day can be wondefully restorative.
9) Forget about yesterday, and ignore tomorrow, for yesteday is past, and tomorrow is an unforeseen mystery, about which you can make little prediction...so, for your 'Me Day', ignore it.
10) Remember, this is your day, after all; you have EVERY right to enjoy it. Have some fun !!!!!!!!!!!!! Write or e-mail a neglected dear friend; do a crossword puzzle, light candles, or take a lo-o-o-o-ng soak in the tub.
11) Remember, the day will pass as all days do; this one happens to be 'Me Day', not 'Her Day', not, the 'Neighbor's Day', but your's. Absolutely keep the day free of obligation, and make NO promises to anyone.
12) Finally, as the day closes, YOU decide when it is time to go to bed. Go as early or as late as you'd like. You are not chained to clock time, not on 'Me Day'.
Now, while I am not uncognizant that many of my dear friends and readers have jobs, have children, families, spouses, numerous things that might--at first consideration--cause you to tell me, "Well, that's all fine for you, as you live alone, are disabled, and--as such--can afford to indulge in such self-gratification such as a, 'Me Day', please allow me to explain that I well understand this, once having worked fulltime at night, while trying to care for my elderly and ill mother, and father, and that it seemed that my days were often eighteen hours long ( and, yes, some of them were ), and that I was tired beyond measure ALL the time, and living in a pressure cooker besides, I still ( for I had to ! ) managed to carve out little mini 'Me Days' for myself. This is how I did it, then.
1) The bathroom is your best friend, for solitude, for aloness, for absolute undisturbed quiet. Generally, nobody bothers you while you are in the bathroom; and so, each evening when I got up to prepare for work, I took my cigarettes, ashtray, and a VERY large cup of coffee into the bathroom. Sure, my major intentions there were completed in scant minutes, but I dawdled there, drinking my coffee, having a couple of cigarettes, as I paused to regain clarity of mind,and strength of purpose. Call me O.C.D., but, I even had a large calendar posted in the bathroom, and in the undisturbed quiet, could 'plot and plan' all I wanted; if I stayed there for twenty, thirty, or, even forty minutes, I had sufficient 'pre-work' time to have time to myself. And, don't worry, you'll not fall in, though your rear may get a little numb; it was the price I paid gladly for just that little 'Me Day'.
2) Although, on the way to, and from work, I passed and repassed a common retention pond, I noticed one December, that it was full of water lillies. And so, one day, I made of it a point to take my camera, and pulled safely off the road, there to slog-around that pond, even getting mud on my shoes, while I circled it, taking picture, after picture, of the still, black water, which reflected the sky and the clouds, and of those water lillies, which were glorious, and all, a soul-restorer. Film cost a lot for me, as did the processing, so, I had to try to make every shot count. That only meant that I stayed there longer, in the cool, early morning weather. The coldness bothered me not one bit. Nor did my wet and muddy shoes. And, while this was back in December 1995, I can still recall the peacefullness of the place, the stark beauty--and this is MOST important--the stillness of my mind, fatigue long forgotten, as I witnessed in that pond, I believe to this day, the simple beauty, and truth of God, in nature. Those two hours out of my routine affected it not one bit. But of that particular, mini 'Me Day', I shall always be grateful, and will never forget. For I fully believe that it is with honesty, supplecation, that a state of Grace is attained, leading to Redemption, which cannot help but to reassure, and restore the Soul.
3) It is of paramount importance, in declaring 'Me Days', we pause, amid the whirlwind that life is, to remember that we--so far as I am aware--have only ONE mortal life, and that how we treat ourselves, is as important as how we treat others.
And, my dear friends, fellow-sufferers, and kind readers, I can fully attest that in declaring this to be a 'Me Day', I am quieter, less preoccupied, more at peace; I feel calmer, better, and, in fact, in less pain; my mind is not racing, and I have not entertained the self-pity, and the self-detruction that normally I might. Think, please, of what a miracle it is to just 'Be', to relax, and to breath regulary, and, feel better!!!!!!!!!!!! And it doesn't cost a dime. Its free for the taking, but only if you will.
And so, to all I wish with all my heart, many, many restorative and grand, 'Me Days', and a freedom from pain, distress or despair to such a state of wonderful calmness and joy. All my love, 'Zahc/Charles'
To my dear friends, fellow suffers, and to all of you who have so very kindly encouraged and supported me in reading my Diary entries, and making much needed comments, both of encouragementAND criticism, I would very much--today--like to share with you something I have but recently discovered, but have found to be far-reaching, and most profound for both my physical, and mental wellbeing, that, I am surprised that it had not occured to me before, while, many of you will have doubtless discovered it, and to you, I laud your insight and your strength of purpose.
It is--in fact--the necessity of declaring for yourself, and establishing with little or no compromise, a , 'Me Day'; it sounds so simple, doesn't it ? I had earlier discussed this with my MDJunction friend, '1magicman', and now, wish to discuss it with you, my dear, dear readers. For my last, 'Me Day' proved to be so wonderful, that--today--I am having one again. Of course, being on disability, and unemployed, and alone ( except for the best dog on the planet ), perhaps I can afford to indulge in such behavior, but, no matter your circumstances, your family, your children, your pet, your pain, or your jobs--should you have them--, or, your spouses, you can readily modify your time, so that, you--too-- can enjoy at least a 'mini-Me Day'.
First, upon looking at the calendar ( which will be your friend ), I noticed that I had no obligations, today, no doctor's visits to worry about, no one scheduled to come over, in essence, a 'blank day', I decided to try to make of it, a quiet, peaceful, and contemplative one, rather than to get caught up in obligations, worries, and the often pre-ocupation with my pain, depression, and agoraphobia. Its surprisingly easy to do, if you will but do it, to the fullest extent that you can. Here goes, my wonderful friends, and readers:
1) Sleep as late as you want; should you have to arise early, either for bathroom calls or to take medications, as soon as you have, retire again to bed, until you naturally wake up...no matter how late in the morning it may be; for remember...this is , 'Your' day, not anyone elses'.
2) I slept in my underwear, and intend to wear it all day, for, should, later, I desire a nap ( another dictum of 'Me Day', I don't have to keep changing clothes. Should anyone actually come to the house today, I can always tell them to wait, or, close their eyes, while I put on a pair of walking shorts.
3) Pay no attention to 'clock' time; eat, when you are hungry, by being hungry, no matter how you may feel otherwise, it will help you find the strength to prepare something to eat.
4) Turn the television off, and keep it off; while I understand some people must watch their soaps, or, Jerry Springer, or news, I find a day without television to be enormously liberating. Besides, I detest the Jerry Springer show for its neverending parade of loud, violent dysfunction, which only disturbs, and disquiets me, as really does the news. For unless I want to keep track of an oncoming hurricane, I can safely manage a day ( or two ) without the voilence, the disasters, the people and animal abuse, the killings, and the global uprisings, frankly--about which--neither you nor I can do anything about.
5) And while I admit this is habit, do NOT feel compelled to drop everything to run to answer the telephone just because it rings; while I have a land line, I also have 'caller I.D.', and can see who's calling; it is rarely dear friends, as they have been told that, today is a 'Me Day'; that does not mean that if a friend calls, I will not answer it. But, how many telephone calls are from 'Unknown Callers', potential scammers, political bombardments, or, just, unheard of 'charities' who want money, etc. They have only distracted and upset you, and, have wasted YOUR time. Remember, this is, 'Your Day', and it is as presious as gold. This is especially true of cell phones, which--really--just make you too available to others.
6) Should you be so inclined, offer a sincere prayer to whatever Deity in which you believe; offer up thanks, gratitude. And ask for direction, guidance, purpose, help, though, I found to my dismay AND shame, that too often, my prayers were as Santa's wish lists; while it is perfectly O.K. to ask for intervention, and pain relief, and for the strength with which to cope, asking God to please give me a grand piano, a Lincoln Town car, or, for a Lottery win, eventually, seemed--somehow--to be disrepectful, unnecessary, and a colossal waste of BOTH our times; and while I will hardly admit to being perfect, as certainly I am not, I found it more fullfilling to ask for forgiveness, and if anything else, to pray as Solomon was supposed to have done: to be able to discern an honest heart. If pain in your knees prevents you from kneeling, the really neat thing about prayers is that they can be said quietly, and, anywhere you happen to be.
7) Spend more time--today--with your children--if you have them--and your pets, who love you, even when you, in an agony of pain, are short tempered, grouchy, and would be left alone. For 'Me Day' will involve a lot of time on the carpet with my dear dog, just so I can tell her over and over, just how very much I love her, and of how very important she is to me, and to my life.
8) Whenever you feel like taking a nap, take it, with no excuses, nor explanations; only you know how you feel, and a nap at the right time of day can be wondefully restorative.
9) Forget about yesterday, and ignore tomorrow, for yesteday is past, and tomorrow is an unforeseen mystery, about which you can make little prediction...so, for your 'Me Day', ignore it.
10) Remember, this is your day, after all; you have EVERY right to enjoy it. Have some fun !!!!!!!!!!!!! Write or e-mail a neglected dear friend; do a crossword puzzle, light candles, or take a lo-o-o-o-ng soak in the tub.
11) Remember, the day will pass as all days do; this one happens to be 'Me Day', not 'Her Day', not, the 'Neighbor's Day', but your's. Absolutely keep the day free of obligation, and make NO promises to anyone.
12) Finally, as the day closes, YOU decide when it is time to go to bed. Go as early or as late as you'd like. You are not chained to clock time, not on 'Me Day'.
Now, while I am not uncognizant that many of my dear friends and readers have jobs, have children, families, spouses, numerous things that might--at first consideration--cause you to tell me, "Well, that's all fine for you, as you live alone, are disabled, and--as such--can afford to indulge in such self-gratification such as a, 'Me Day', please allow me to explain that I well understand this, once having worked fulltime at night, while trying to care for my elderly and ill mother, and father, and that it seemed that my days were often eighteen hours long ( and, yes, some of them were ), and that I was tired beyond measure ALL the time, and living in a pressure cooker besides, I still ( for I had to ! ) managed to carve out little mini 'Me Days' for myself. This is how I did it, then.
1) The bathroom is your best friend, for solitude, for aloness, for absolute undisturbed quiet. Generally, nobody bothers you while you are in the bathroom; and so, each evening when I got up to prepare for work, I took my cigarettes, ashtray, and a VERY large cup of coffee into the bathroom. Sure, my major intentions there were completed in scant minutes, but I dawdled there, drinking my coffee, having a couple of cigarettes, as I paused to regain clarity of mind,and strength of purpose. Call me O.C.D., but, I even had a large calendar posted in the bathroom, and in the undisturbed quiet, could 'plot and plan' all I wanted; if I stayed there for twenty, thirty, or, even forty minutes, I had sufficient 'pre-work' time to have time to myself. And, don't worry, you'll not fall in, though your rear may get a little numb; it was the price I paid gladly for just that little 'Me Day'.
2) Although, on the way to, and from work, I passed and repassed a common retention pond, I noticed one December, that it was full of water lillies. And so, one day, I made of it a point to take my camera, and pulled safely off the road, there to slog-around that pond, even getting mud on my shoes, while I circled it, taking picture, after picture, of the still, black water, which reflected the sky and the clouds, and of those water lillies, which were glorious, and all, a soul-restorer. Film cost a lot for me, as did the processing, so, I had to try to make every shot count. That only meant that I stayed there longer, in the cool, early morning weather. The coldness bothered me not one bit. Nor did my wet and muddy shoes. And, while this was back in December 1995, I can still recall the peacefullness of the place, the stark beauty--and this is MOST important--the stillness of my mind, fatigue long forgotten, as I witnessed in that pond, I believe to this day, the simple beauty, and truth of God, in nature. Those two hours out of my routine affected it not one bit. But of that particular, mini 'Me Day', I shall always be grateful, and will never forget. For I fully believe that it is with honesty, supplecation, that a state of Grace is attained, leading to Redemption, which cannot help but to reassure, and restore the Soul.
3) It is of paramount importance, in declaring 'Me Days', we pause, amid the whirlwind that life is, to remember that we--so far as I am aware--have only ONE mortal life, and that how we treat ourselves, is as important as how we treat others.
And, my dear friends, fellow-sufferers, and kind readers, I can fully attest that in declaring this to be a 'Me Day', I am quieter, less preoccupied, more at peace; I feel calmer, better, and, in fact, in less pain; my mind is not racing, and I have not entertained the self-pity, and the self-detruction that normally I might. Think, please, of what a miracle it is to just 'Be', to relax, and to breath regulary, and, feel better!!!!!!!!!!!! And it doesn't cost a dime. Its free for the taking, but only if you will.
And so, to all I wish with all my heart, many, many restorative and grand, 'Me Days', and a freedom from pain, distress or despair to such a state of wonderful calmness and joy. All my love, 'Zahc/Charles'
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