'....A Too Typical Weekend...'

‘ A Too Typical Weekend; A New Injury; An Unexpected Kindness From A Neighbor’s Daughter; Pain, And A Tribute To my Dog ‘

04/09/12

To my ever dear, and wonderful friends, and kind, and loyal readers,

I don’t know why I seem to expect something more, something different on the Holidays; perhaps, some bit of new excitement, pulse-racing with anticipation, and much hoped-for delight, perhaps.  Of course, none of those things happen in the imagination fueled by a rejection of utter sameness, and, as always, pin-cushioned in a hundred places by pain that circles like some foreboding formation of vultures, waiting for the prey to die.

So alike are these days, consisting of unending hours, wherein there is a struggle to maintain an inertia of basic needs, such as preparing tasteless suppers; too much coffee; and of always dosing up, my day predicated by cyclonic agonies, that weary, yet prolong the passing of the day.  Friday—for example—is now a blur to me…there was nothing even slightly memorable about it.  I do recall I took an whole sleeping pill, though it did not stop the nightmares, nor the frequent wakening, nor of finding myself—again, sitting out at the kitchen counter, head in hands, in a kind of twilight sleep—waking cold, with the back door open to all and sundry sometime around three AM.

On Saturday, while reaching in an odd, sideways posture to reach around the coffee pot to get the coffee jar, in leaning over, heard a distinct ‘popping’ sound, that meant I had re-fractured, an already multiply fractured rib; oh great….another pain to pile on top of pain (oh yes, my dearest friends, pain can be stacked like that).

Late Sunday, there was a faint knock to the front door; the daughter of my neighbor had brought me a little plate of ham, and mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole; on top of that, was a small pan with a piece of pumpkin pie in it; two small brownies; a cupcake; and a small bowl of Easter-style, Hershey’s kisses.  It was a kind and thoughtful gesture, that—in even thinking of me—struck me as inordinately generous.

And lastly, for this evening, and for others in the past, I will often be sitting at the computer, or else, back out to the kitchen, half-consumed by pain, or, waiting for a couple of pain pills to settle in, and only leave me wuzzle-headed; better than the pain, assuredly.  Before long, I hear the scritching of her claws upon the wooden floor, and Daisy—with what I can only describe as a smile on her face (as I DO believe they can smile !), as she comes up to me to put her head in my lap; she only wants a few minutes of attention, and—if I am able to do so—will slowly lower myself to the floor to ‘play’ with her; she fully KNOWS when Daddy hurts all over, and—at fourteen, now, I imagine that she has more than a few pains of her own.

She really IS my only company; and while I often I could do much better by her, I could not lover her more, and I also think—this too—she knows.

Soon…too soon, perhaps, but the, what else is there?, it will be time to retire to my freshened bed.  And, Daisy will come in to turn-around the requisite three, or four times, hoping—I suppose—to find that one, most comfortable place to lie down on the rug beside my bed; and since her canine conscience is much clearer than mine, I often hear her snoring before I can even drift off.  I want her to relax, and in a ‘doggie R.E.M.’, find plenty of rabbits and squirrels to chase.

For during the night, she protects me, waking to bark, if something, or someone is outside, and near the house.

And so, my very dearest friends, and constant readers, I hope that you and your family or friends enjoyed a singularly pleasant Easter weekend, with music, joy, games, and toys; and LOTS of wonderful, delicious food (and, don’t forget the chocolate bunnies !).

I wish you happiness, a lack of pain, and a solid, restful sleep!

Please always know I love you dearly,

‘Zahc’/Charles