" Please...Why? "

“  Please…Why?  “

06/08/12

Please…why is it when dire, infectious illness wends so slowly as it slowly wanes,

all kinds of miseried things—instead—fly in;

like roving migraines, more deep despair, and unrelenting stomach pains,

to seek some measure of ascendency, there, to lasting, dwell within?

For though a painful, aspirative congestion remains,

and constant coughing from a too-raspy throat,

allows a rank fatigue to settle in, while dark depression reigns. 

Somehow, these small, attendant evils gloat.

My hands and arms, and shoulders jump, and have not stopped,

and I still have not an appetite for food;

I sit in silence, with coffee that I’ve spilled, and burn marks from the cigarettes I’ve dropped.

Oh well…perhaps some weight loss will do me good.

In feeling ill—somehow—has been uncapped an endless well of sorrow

that reduces all my once-fond hopes to smoke and dreams.

I briefly doze throughout the day, in hopes I will feel a little better, when I awake, tomorrow.

Despite all the antibiotic use—for now—as useless, there is no relief it seems.

My jumbled, scattered prayers are mumbled to a God I cannot see,

for wellness, for financial help to make it to month’s end.

Is there a cure for loneliness, I ask, most wistfully?

And that some blissful, monetary help descend.

I’m not completely selfish, because I always pray

for illness-end, and health returned, and that all pain and need will cease;

I do this for my dearest, kindest friends at M.D.J.

That you—too—may find true happiness at least.

How often have I come to you in pain, to always find you there?

How often have I cried for all of us, for everything which we should enjoy in full, but lack?

How often have I turned to you, my dearest friends, to seek your heartfelt, loving care?

Please always, always know how very much I love you,     ‘Zahc’

End