"And Now--My Very Dearest Friends, And Ever-loyal Readers--Its, 'YOUR', Turn!"

“And Now—My Very Dearest Friends, And Ever-loyal Readers—Its, ‘YOUR’, Turn!”

 

 

 

10/22/12

 

(Note: I am SO very happy and glad that my dear cousin (who knows light years more than do I about the computer!) was able to correct my horrific error, and to breathe new life into this diary entry!)

 

 

 

To my very precious and dearest friends, and patient, constant loyal readers,

 

 

As you know—in the usual scheme of things— every musician most wants listeners; every painter most desires viewers, and…every, ‘writer’, most needs readers.

 

The, ‘wanting’, the, ‘desire’, and the, ‘needing’, are but integral parts of artistic expression; that  which is inherent to an individual’s sense of personal development, satisfaction of Self, and personal fulfillment.

 

And, while one may argue the merits of, ‘art for art’s sake’, surely, such endeavors cannot long survive in a self-created vacuum, by ignoring the reactive state of response by listeners, viewers… by readers.   Particularly when such endeavors are intentionally placed anywhere within the public forum.

 

Then, it is only natural to expect comment, both good and bad, comments that concern matters of quality, purpose, meaningfulness (including the degree to which a piece is found to be meaningful), and effectiveness.

 

Oh…I suppose—in not wanting, nor caring about readers—I could pen my thoughts in the traditional way, by writing them into a bound, blank diary, ‘book’, with hasp, lock, and tiny, little key, and then keep the book safely tucked-away somewhere in a dresser drawer, or stuck someplace, under a mattress.

 

And there is nothing wrong with that; many people, ‘journal’, by making, ‘log’, entries in their book, thus keeping track of everything from dreams, to, ‘secret thoughts’, to hopes, wishes, ‘goal progress’; these diaries may contain little poems, illustrations, drawings, lists of similar or dissimilar, ‘things’, ‘likes’, ‘peeves’, or little vignettes that describe  one’s life. 

 

This is fine; I heartily encourage everyone to journal with some regularity, using a diary as a way to fix certain moments or conditions in time, so that they may be read later (over time) as a way to discover all kinds of insights about one’s self, as they pertain to self, or to the many interactions of self with others.

 

When I first began to keep a diary at MDJunction—if memory serves correctly—I could have chosen to limit its views to just myself, or to a specific group of persons, or to all members at MDJ.

 

Again…any one of those choices would have been perfectly agreeable and understandable.

 

In choosing—however—to make my diary entries accessible to the widest possible audience at MDJ, it personally revealed both a, ‘want’, to write, and a, ‘need’ to have an audience, in order to be read…in order—perhaps—to be understood.

 

And while it has been—on a number of occasions—suggested to me that I write for myself alone, in choosing to seek an audience it cannot help but make me aware of that audience.

 And, of their needs, wants, situational difficulties, searchings—perhaps—for greater clarity, information, or…of simply wanting to be entertained.

 

Thus, in having sought an audience, I have tried to post regularly on a variety of topics:

1)           Because—in some perceivably meaningful way—to offer my caring, my support, and my desire to always help wherever possible.

2)           Because I, ‘needed’—through exposition—to find myself, to understand myself better.

3)           Because I imagined that—hopefully--I had something to say that might prove to be worth saying.

4)           Because it pleases me to be read.

But, more importantly (for me, anyway!), has been the desire to:

 

1)   Express my complete gratitude at having been befriended by you, my dearest friends.

2)   To always try to let you know that—although your, ‘conditions’, may cause you to feel isolated, and apart--you are not, ‘alone’, nor do you ever have to feel alone.  Nor, to have to bear great suffering in silence.

3)   To ever try to assure you that you are unique, special, especially when illness (physical, mental, or both), pain, despair, familial, or societal expectations would try to, ‘diminish’, you, or question your sense of, ‘worth’.

4)   To strive to be, ‘ever there for you’.  To use this diary forum to try to comfort you, with entries on various conditions, such as, ‘P.T.S.D.’, ‘Depression’, ‘Domestic Violence’, ‘Bipolar Disorder, etc.

5)   To try to be of any help that I can by providing information, and/or links for further investigation, and entries that have addressed, ‘financial need’, etc.

6)   In writing entries that detail my own pain, health problems, and health concerns, agoraphobia, panic, depression, declining health, age, pet care, etc., such that you might be able to identify with and understand only too well that, with which you most personally identify.

 In trying to establish commonality of, ‘needs’, and equality in being to show that—after all—‘we are all in this, together’.  And that—out of this—will develop a meaningful rapport, a shared dialogue that can only facilitate the understanding of others in relation to one’s particular situation.

Since its onset on July 31, 2011, my diary entries have taken many forms; that of, ‘question’, ‘rant’, ‘poems’, and exposition (written often in series, or continued parts).

 

On occasion, owing to the rigors of personal illness, pain, distress, situation, and—what I can only refer to as, ‘mind fog’: a  lamentable difficulty of expressing thought, recalling memory and experience, when neither words, nor ideas necessary for exposition be found—I have, sometimes, ‘re-entered’, a diary piece that I had some time ago written.

 

I am so very glad that I have even found such a, ‘diary forum’, at MDJ.

 

I am also grateful that you take time to pause and read my entries (even though perhaps too many of them are overlong in the extreme!).

 

And—as was stated earlier—as a so-called, ‘writer’, I find great fulfillment in being read.  And, ever so much more so, when I can—by reviewing statistics on my diary’s, ‘dashboard’—calculate the relative number of, ‘hits’, and thus readers of my diary both weekly, and, from the beginning.  And this makes my heart so very, very happy!

 

For example, since the end of July, 201I (when I wrote my first diary entry), I have now written (or...resubmitted!) just over 277 entries. And my, ‘total’, number of, ‘hits’ (the majority of which I hope may read each entry in its entirety) to date, is, 52, 085!

 

After the first year of posting entries had passed, my, ‘regular’, readership has varied from 753 readers, to an all-time high of 1,327! I have NEVER had an audience like that, EVER!  I cannot believe how very blessed I have been.

 

And while—of  course—‘average readers, per week’, astound and delight me, on a more personal level, it is your, ‘comments’ made below each entry, that make my heart the happiest, and gives me a sense of purpose, and fulfillment!

 

I rely—not only on, ‘numbers of readers’, but upon your kind comments, as—at MDJ—they are like a barometer that tells me whether I may have been of use, of comfort, of service, and of interest to you; they provide much-needed clues for course correction. 

 

Your comments—as criticism—help direct me, help hone whatever, ‘craft’, I may have, and show me how I may prove to be of best help.

 

I am very much interested in what you’d, ‘ like’ to see, ‘want’ to see more of (or…less of!), and what you feel you, ‘need’, to see.

 

And so, now—my most dear, dear friends, and ever-loyal, gentle readers—it is YOUR turn!

 

I would very much value and appreciate your making comment as to the course, direction, benefit, value, purpose of my entries.

 

I welcome constructive criticism, ‘thumbs down’, as well as, ‘thumbs up’ remarks, as well as encouragement and/or concerns; suggestions you may have regarding content, relevance, need, value, style, length, language, composition, voice, purpose…really, comments that will convey to me what you think, feel, hope, dislike, or want.

 

And, while the majority of past comments that I have received have been singularly warm, supportive, and encouraging (which—of course—makes my heart very happy!), still, I cannot be content, nor satisfied with my efforts if they are—in the main—failures in any way.

 

My very, very dear friends, and constant, kind readers, I am hoping for many, many, many to write and make comment; even if—in the past—you have read my entries, but have never before felt the need to leave comment.

 

But this is—particularly at present—so very, very important to me…as a person, a member of the larger MDJunction community…and lastly, as a writer.

 

So I would ask of you: please, please take a moment or two to respond with your comments.

 

I would be overjoyed to see most of the page taken up in comment response!

 

I do think about you often, my precious friends. And ever-wish for you, ‘pain free’, or days of much lessened pain; surrounded by family members and friends who love you for who YOU are!

 

And, I wish most for you all the happiness your kind hearts can hold…and more!

 

And—as always—please, please know that I love you dearly!

 

 

 

‘Zahc’/Charles