“For
Your Most Kind Consideration: Approval, Satisfaction, Happiness, And…Joy!”
10/19/12
Part
V, conclusion:
“2012”
To my very precious friends, and—as
always—wonderfully loyal readers,
If you will kindly recall, before I began this
series on ‘Happiness’, I happened to write a diary entry that asked, “Where
DOES the money go?!”
On a personal level, I had rather ruefully observed
how it seemed that my monthly, S.S.D.I. was able to buy less and less from the
very beginning.
A Personal History:
After having been duly adjudicated by a judge as
fully and unalterably, ‘disabled’, sometime in August, 2004, I first began to
receive, ‘S.S.I’, or, ‘ supplemental income’, in the exact amount of
$158.00/monthly.
And, even though I was—at that time—living with my
late mother (who was receiving both Social Security, and Veteran’s Survivor
Benefits), our combined incomes—from the very start—proved, clearly, to be
quite insufficient to our needs.
My, ‘S.S.I.’, was not nearly enough to support my,
‘needs’, much less my mother’s, ‘needs’.
Although I cut back on expenditures to point of personal hardship, I
could hardly subject my then-eighty-eight year old mother to the same.
I began to use my credit card more and more to meet
our ‘base needs’, until I was over my head in debt I could not keep up with. And
my unpaid account—even though I had much earlier taken out account protection
insurance (a matter STILL under debate!)—was turned over to a series of
collection agencies.
Even with the prohibitions on harassment as stated
clearly under the, ‘Fair Credit Protection Act’, life—in addition to being
awful—quickly became hell. Which could
be a suitable topic for discussion in itself.
Then on about January, 2005, I began to receive,
‘S.S.D.I’, or, ‘disability income which—for a while—was able to meet my,
‘needs’, and to pay my bills. I was able to live—if not extravagantly, then—in
fair comfort.
About three-and-a-half years ago, my monthly income—arrived
at by Social Security guidelines, combined with a calculation of my, ‘best’ ten
years of former employment—seemed to become less and less able to support Daisy
and me.
It did not seem—superficially, anyway—that the,
‘number’, of bills I had to pay each month did not change.
In the beginning—at least—I was more inclined to
blame myself for bad management decisions, poor choices, and even impulsive, or
imprudent spending.
After all, I was paying car insurance on a car I
could no longer drive. And I did spend
somewhat rashly at the grocery store, buying yogurt when I wanted it, or ice
cream, or Bakery-prepared cookies, pastries, and cakes.
I began to keep a serious budget every month,
started towards the end of the month previous so that I could allocate specific
amounts to regularly occurring bills, and miscellaneous charges for clothing,
restaurants, treats.
It DID seem to me, however, that—over time, these
outlays began to cost more and more. In
truth, my very dearest friends, the cost of virtually EVERYTHING increased, and
then increased again.
I wasn’t using any more electricity than could be
accounted for with seasonal variations in usage. Nor did it seem as if I were buying more
exotic foods, or notoriously-high priced items such as steak and lobster.
In time, I found my fixed, ‘S.S.D.I’, earnings less
and less able to carry the, ‘Dais’, and me through the month, and I began to
have shortfalls.
To try to cover this, I dropped the car insurance,
getting rid of the car; I stopped my term, life insurance. I bought much less costly things at the
grocery store. Worse—to my greatest and
continuing regret—I had to drop my secondary, PPO health insurance which so
ably covered any expense not covered by Medicare.
At first, I found myself out of funds two days from
the end of the month. Then, five
days. Ten days. Two weeks.
Until now, when I am so often almost completely
broke the day AFTER my, ‘S.S.D.I.’, check is direct-deposited into my checking
account.
I make pre-month budget after budget after budget,
and am still fighting solvency. Forget luxury.
Forget—to a large degree—comfort.
Completely forget any sense of security, saving, or sense of future
certainty.
In thinking about one’s levels of satisfaction to
levels of happiness as they may relate to, ‘need’ fulfillment or ‘want’
fulfillment, and beyond, it was necessary—first, where possible—to characterize
the basic elements of, ‘need’, and, ‘want’, in hopes of being able to integrate
them into a single, more or less manageable equation—that, while
subjective—might yet attempt to shed some revealing light as to our behavior; a
greater understanding of our priorities, and of ourselves, and—hopefully—to a
better recognition of what truly makes us happy.
And so—again--I submit to you, my very, very dearest
friends for your consideration and/or approval, the following social equation:
(Need+Need Fulfillment) + Comfort, Choice,
Availability = (Want+Want Fulfillment) +Luxury, Immediacy, Availability =
(Status).
First, we must try to establish—as a baseline—a
hopefully appropriate, and—therefore—common perception of, ‘need’, as those
needs necessary for survival.
Such, ‘survival’, requisites, might look something
like this, in terms of assumed primacy:
1)
Water
2)
Edible/nourishing food
3)
Procreation (as a biological imperative,
and gene pool—variation)
4)
Shelter
5)
Transportation
6)
The establishment of Tribe
A)
Recognition of the, ‘Alpha’ ( ? )
And,
in consideration of just how very important a source of regular income is
regarding the success or failure of, ‘need’, fulfillment…
7)
Income
With your most kind permission, I offer up myself as
example. I would ask of you—my most patient, and loyal readers—to
use—instead—data specific to each one of you.
Onward…
1)
Water. I have a well, and an electric
pump attached, to bring water into the house.
Owing to the depth of the new well—however—the water contains a lot of
iron in it, which can be distinctly tasted, and seen. I prefer to buy store brand, gallon-jugs of,
‘spring’ water for my coffee, to use in cooking, and to give Daisy, as she will
not now drink well water. I like to keep
milk in the house for coffee, and for cooking, as I rarely drink milk by the
glass. I do buy green tea, by the gallon
which is both decaffeinated, and diet.
If I, ‘had to’, I could eliminate milk, coffee, tea,
soda, and still be able to survive on iron-infused, well water.
2)
Edible/nourishing food. I usually buy soup, instant potatoes, rice,
eggs, etc., and a lot of food that is microwavable.
If I, ‘had to’, I could eliminate all the
microwavable foods and dishes, and try to rely—despite my horrific cooking
skills—on fresh vegetables instead.
Gone would be ice cream, cake, anything not directly
related to survival.
As it is now, I may buy meat once or twice a
month…usually chicken, or hamburger.
About every three months or so—if funds are available—a nice roast, or
mammoth, whole chicken. I have NOT had
steak in the house for at least four years.
3)
Procreation (as a biological imperative,
and gene pool—variation). Although I am
still quite capable of, ‘looking’, age, illnesses and medications, and a general
lack of opportunity has pretty much rendered this, ‘need’, as unnecessary.
Besides…frankly…the world is overpopulated now.
4)
Shelter.
I inherited a 1978, “Bendix”, double-wide, mobile home, 24’ X 40’ in
dimension, or 960 sq. ft. It has a
living room, dining area, hallway,
kitchen, two bedrooms, and two bathrooms.
The
2nd. Bathroom is located past a separate, ‘vanity’ area, off the
master bedroom.
I
have two, fairly good-sized walk-in closets.
The
house’s only occupants are myself, and the, ‘mighty, wonder dog’, “Daisy”.
And
although I am quite content with my home, do I actually really NEED two
bedrooms, or two bathrooms? Do I really
need a distinct living room, and dining, ’area’? In consideration of, ‘shelter’, as a base,
‘need’, I could be just as, ‘sheltered’, in an efficiency, a one-room
apartment. Or, I could survive equally as well by renting a room (provided, of
course that they would allow Daisy!).
5)
Transportation. Granted, I do not now
own a car, or have to make payments, or buy insurance, I do live in a somewhat
isolated area, away from stores, or physicians, for example. As such, a, ‘car’, is more of a mandated
necessity, than a, ‘status symbol’.
I can now only walk for
very short distances, needing a cane AND portable oxygen. Nor can I ride a
bicycle.
I live about three
miles from the nearest bus stop.
My friends all live too
far away; transportation by neighbor is as rare as to be almost non-existent.
That leaves commercial
taxis (which I plainly cannot afford!), and the, ‘County, Public, Medicare Cab,
which will convey me to doctor’s appointment’s only. I do think I have available, one day a month
on which to go grocery shopping.
Until recently, I could
have my groceries selected, and delivered by a local grocery store for a $30.00
fee. I have since been told—by the
manager of the grocery store--that the shopping, delivery, and, ‘putting away’,
of groceries is now uneconomical, and cannot be continued.
That leaves me with the
once-a-month offerings of the, ‘Volunteer Way’, or, to bribe a neighbor to shop
for me (paying in both gas, and grocery item(s) for them). That’s Life.
6)
The establishment of Tribe
B)
Recognition of the, ‘Alpha’ ( ? ). As social creatures, we instinctively seek to
establish, or to become a part of already established tribes.
For a sense of order,
reliability, and safety (rather than chaos), every, ‘tribe’, no matter how
small, requires the presence of an, ‘Alpha’, or leader. No tribe or, ‘pack’, could long survive if
all its members were, ‘Betas’.
‘My’, immediate,
‘tribe’, consists of Daisy and me; my sense of, ‘tribe’, extends to friends,
neighbors, acquaintances, and—finally—to family.
When my mother and
father were alive, I would have been as a member of their, ‘pack’, with my
father, definitely the, ‘Alpha’.
And while I may rightly
consider myself to be the, ‘Alpha’, in our little tribe, since I am the one who
delivers water, brings food (shares the kill!), provides shelter, relative safety, and
companionship.
However…I must confess
that I try to cater so much to Daisy’s every need, with hopes of catering to
her, ‘wants’, as well, so that—despite logic, and the apparent success of
probabilities--in, ‘our’, household—anyway—Daisy and I share, ‘Alpha-dom’,
pretty much 55%--45%. After all, it is
not Daisy who has to get up in the middle of the night to let ME go pee!
7)
Income.
As you already may know, my sole source of income is the, ‘S.S.D.I.’
entitlement check that is direct-deposited into my checking account on the 3rd.
of each month (m.o.l. depending on which day the 3rd. may fall on).
In the past
seven-and-a-half years, I have received only three, cost-of-living (or, ‘c.o.l.a.s)
raises to all Medicare recipients, including those on, ‘S.S.D.I.
A)
The first raise—in January, 2006,
increased my S.S.D.I from $957.00 to
about $1,001.00. What that initial,
small raise did was to change my Medicaid designation from complete coverage (‘Q.M.B’)
to ‘medically needy, with share of cost (‘S.L.M.B’).
That one, little change
in classification meant that:
1)
Medicaid
will only cover medical expenses when they have reached the sum of $840.00 a
month! That—alone—would give me less
than $61.00 on which to live, before Medicaid would step up to pay.
2)
Further,
that Medicaid would now only pay the yearly Medicare deductible, and monthly premiums.
3)
I
was no longer eligible for, ‘Food Stamps’ .
When—after—four years—I again applied for Food Stamps, Medicaid (and,
BTW, the agent with whom I spoke made my re-certification sound like winning
the Lottery!) granted me the sum of $16.00 a month! I fairly jumped for joy; and when I asked the
agent to kindly have their in-house dietician create for me a, ‘meal plan’, for
thirty days, the agent promptly slammed the telephone down in my ears!
4)
The
answers are only too painfully simple:
1)
My income is largely, ‘fixed’, with the
exception of small, infrequent cost of living raises.
A)
In point of fact, as has—I hope—been
demonstrated by income statistics listed in Parts, I and II of this series, is
that—over time—income has never been able to keep up with the cost of living,
as may be affected by,’ market strength’, and inflation.
B)
As a consequence of the above, it
therefore more and more difficult to meet basic, ‘needs’. Never mind, ‘want-fulfillment’.
And as the economy—in this Country, in
particular--further stagnates, the gulf between the, ‘haves’, and the, ‘have
not’s’, widens larger and larger, as does the disparity of wealth.
I used to consider my mother and father to be
respected, solid members of the, ‘Middle Class’; today, I think I may aver with
some certainty that I have since joined the ranks of the middle, ‘Lower Class’. And, as I can do—apparently-- little in the
way of remedy (what, stop eating? Stop buying medication?), I find myself dreadfully
depressed, helpless, frustrated, and…unbelievably angry!
And I find I am not alone in this. For all too often, I have seen in threads and
diary entries at MDJunction (as well as elsewhere around the internet), the
accounts of, ‘decent citizens’, now having—often—to decide between, ‘clothing’,
or, ’cable’, ‘ dental care’, or, ‘car payments’, ‘food’, or, ‘rent’!
For those with illness(es), physical, and/or mental
conditions, I have even witnessed those having to substitute, half-fill, or
even, ‘not’, fill prescriptions for medications in order to merely, ‘survive’,
much less, needed to alleviate pain, distress, despair, to cope, even to avoid
subsequent re-hospitalizations.
In thinking about one’s levels of satisfaction to
levels of happiness as they may relate to, ‘need’ fulfillment or ‘want’
fulfillment, and beyond, it was necessary—first, where possible—to characterize
the basic elements of, ‘need’, and, ‘want’, in hopes of being able to integrate
them into a single, more or less manageable equation—that, while
subjective—might yet attempt to shed some revealing light as to our behavior; a
greater understanding of our priorities, and of ourselves, and—hopefully—to a
better recognition of what truly makes us happy.
And so—again--I submit to you, my very, very dearest
friends for your consideration and/or approval, the following social equation:
(Need+Need Fulfillment) + Comfort, Choice,
Availability = (Want+Want Fulfillment) +Luxury, Immediacy, Availability =
(Status)
Such, ‘survival’, requisites, might look something
like this, in terms of assumed primacy, and—for purposes of this exposition—I would
kindly ask each one of you to, ‘cut and paste’, both the ,’equation’, (above),
AND the subsequent personal data, in the list of a proposed hierarchy of, ‘needs’,
(as given, below), in order to assess your particular ordering of ,’primal
needs’, as they relate to fulfillment, and subsequent, ‘wants’, as well as, ‘want-fulfillment’.
1)
Water
2)
Edible/nourishing food
3)
Procreation (as a biological imperative,
and gene pool—variation)
4)
Shelter
5)
Transportation
6)
The establishment of Tribe
C)
Recognition of the, ‘Alpha’ ( ? )
And,
in consideration of just how very important a source of regular income is
regarding the success or failure of, ‘need’, fulfillment…
7)
Income (since we are now so completely
dependent on a, ’cash based’, system, in order to try to meet our needs).
From the various statistics given earlier, it is clear
that, over time, what we consider to be, ‘income’--(even when it may be
increased by having two or more incomes coming in to the house), by factoring
inflation, consumer prices, unemployment, and the drastic reduction in interest
%’s in savings accounts, bonds, C.D.s, stock, etc.—has been, and probably will
be for some, long time in the future—that income will never be able to, ‘catch-up’,
to expenses.
In order for a particular paradigm to be as
literate, and as understandable (and thus,
capable of being studied, and successfully
replicated), we must—as best we can, using the tools of language, and
mathematics, statistics, and statistical analyses—strive to define terms
used. The matter of ‘how’ these terms
state more clearly the problem, and the final conclusion(s) of their affect
remains entirely subjective, specific to every individual involved, and each
person’s mindset: the product of circumstance, learning, enculturation,
identification, as well as strength of response, ranging from negative response
to zero response to low, medium, or high response.
Thus, it is very much hoped—despite all these
problems, and limitations—that, nevertheless, something worth—perhaps—brief
consideration will be evidenced.
If—on the other hand—the problem has been poorly
described or is too long, or attends to a subject that is not personally
applicable (and hence, of no particular, personal interest), or only makes the
reader yawn, or to become bored, then no problem, or paradigm—however
well-intended—will ever be perceived as, ‘relevant’, ‘necessary’, or even,
‘helpful’.
It would then seem that—perhaps-- ‘need-fulfillment’,
and, ‘want-fulfillment’, may, however faultily, be able to provide us with a
sense of, ‘approval’, ‘comfort’, and, ‘satisfaction’ (if not—indeed—greater status!),
to even—at times--a most transient feeling of, ‘happiness’.
In consequence—though--our ability to experience, ‘joy’,
(to any, lasting extent) is—in light of the harshness of reality, and of sheer
survival—lessens to near zero, even though one might well-consider, ‘joy’, to
be—more accurately—a, ‘spiritual state’.
We all too clearly see, and now too often personally
experience, the growing sense of failure, dissatisfaction, hopelessness,
frustration and rage, both in America, and—indeed—across the globe.
In America—now—more and more of us are having to
re-prioritize many of our past, cultural, ‘needs’, often, having to place
transportation and shelter above food, food above general healthcare,
healthcare above needed medications, to more important medications over—maybe—slightly
less important medications, as an example.
We see growing numbers of people unemployed, or—severely—under-employed.
We see foreclosure after foreclosure forcing many to
simply, ‘slip the front door key under the mat’, and walk-away from their
homes, their equity, investment in hope, labor, and love vaporized.
For some time, the notion of, ‘the American Dream’,
has increasingly lost its allure; it has now—in fact, become a, ‘waking
nightmare’, from which there is no escape.
But what reassures me, and gives me hope, and—what may,
in fact, prove to be our salvation—is the general level of decency, sense of
fairness, tolerance, and respect for an individual’s rights and freedoms. The ability to work together, and to share
with those less fortunate than ourselves.
We are—in fact—a, ‘giving’, Nation; often those who
have the least seem to give the most.
Please, ‘Google’, the percentage of, ‘income classes’, donate the most
to charities.
With only isolated exception, we—as a culture—tend
to uphold laws to protect our fellow citizens, children’s, and, ‘single parents’,
rights.
For many of us, the construct of, ‘the family’
remains strong, in almost all its various permutations.
Most often, we still feed the poor, show mercy to
the lost, or the bullied, and give to provide shelter, food and clothing to
those less fortunate than we.
We routinely, ‘root’, for the underdog, the, common
man’. And while we do celebrate with
the, ‘winner’, we also show empathy and compassion for the, ‘also ran’…the one
who—against all odds—still strives for success.
This vast outpouring of, ‘helping’—while certainly addressing,
‘need’, and,’ want’, also greatly nurtures
the soul, wherein lies—perhaps—the truest form of, ‘joy’, well on the way to , ‘bliss’!
It
is a matter of re-establishing priorities, and of re-assessing the nature of, ‘want’,
and,’need’.
For THAT is something we CAN do. In fact, it is
something we MUST do. I fully believe we
are capable of it!
I can think of no better way to close this ponderous
series, than by quoting the first line of a song, written in 1847 by James
Brackett, Jr., entitled, “Simple Gifts”.
I
thank you for having stayed the course with me, and for ever being my dearest
friends!
“Simple
Gifts”
‘Tis
the gift to be simple,
‘tis
the gift to be free,
‘tis
the gift to come down
where
we ought to be.
And
when we find ourselves
in
the place just right,
‘twill
be in the valley
of
love and delight.
End
And—as always—please, please know I love you very
dearly!
‘Zahc’/Charles
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