“A
Special Anniversary That I Very Nearly Missed!”
06/23/14
As
always, to my very dearest friends and loyal readers,
(Wednesday,
May 14, 2014)
A fairly ordinary day; it might as well have been
Tuesday, or Saturday for the little that I do any more.
There were bouts of unspeakable pain…yes, with depression
and despair taking the life from me.
There is always hope that a medication, or, some
combinations of medication will provide at least temporary respite from agony.
It is on these days (twin to so many others) that I
feel most useless, afraid and alone.
Last week—while I was reading yet another wonderful ‘PM’
and hug, that I noticed something a little different.
After glancing briefly at my dreadful profile
picture, it suddenly hit me: Wednesday, May 14 marked my 3rd. year
anniversary at MDJunction!!!!!!!!!!!
I recall that late night, when I was overwhelmed by
pain and suffering (hurting—perhaps—as an animal hurts, of being in global
pain, but of not understanding why).
I turned to Google to look for ‘self-help’ groups,
and—among them—MDJ was figured most prominently.
Now dear friends, I must confess to you that I am
practically computer illiterate.
So, when I found the MDJ home page, I had completely
NO idea what to do, or how to navigate the site.
I gave it up for a lost cause, until I received a
most cordial email from Roy, welcoming me to the ‘Junction’.
Not long after that (in late July), I began writing
diary entries.
Now in those days, I used to write them directly at
the dashboard; so small, I could hardly read my own compositions.
These—too—were the days before merciful ‘Spellcheck’,
and when later I had occasion to review those early entries, I was both shocked
and embarrassed with the number of misspellings, and grammatical mistakes I had
made; surly, a high school freshman could have done better.
When I did begin to keep a diary, it seemed—on many
days—that I could hardly write it all down; I had NO conception of length,
topic drift, relevance; I wrote and wrote until my entries seemed to reach some
kind of ending.
I wrote on a number of subjects, and—as I did—I began
to receive friendship requests. I was
always grateful (and, surprised!) that someone wanted me for a friend.
At no other site have I found such wonderfully
caring, patient and encouraging members.
And soon, I began to write for you as much as for myself.
From the beginning, kind members would comment to my
diary entries; and, these were—almost without exception—warm, hopeful, and
understanding friends. More so,
frequently, than my local, ‘real time’ friends.
Your comments always make glad my heart. And-should at any time—an entry proved to be
of some, small hope, I gladly offered it up to the Creator Spirit as an
offering of gratitude.
And I began to amass a collection of entries, many
of which I am pleased with. They consist
of various exposition, the occasional ‘rant’, perhaps thirty or forty poems,
and, a ’hem…the odd entry that was restructured and re-posted.
Since late July of 2011, I have written 335 diary entries,
which have—altogether—received 954 wonderfully kind comments!
Now, I must confess to you may precious friends that
I have NO idea what a ‘hit’ is. Is it a
click on my diary? Does that a complete
view, or just a detour along the way?
I am hoping that someone with more knowledge about
these things will please explain it to me.
For—with the first diary entry—the ‘number’ of ‘hits’
were listed. They seemed, somehow, to be important to me; I began to keep track
of them afte a month or two.
I am hoping that I may be at least a little proud of
them. A few days ago, the number of ‘hits’
was a jaw-dropping 111,329!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It has been one of my most favorite day dreams to imagine
my entries to be collected and published.
My dearest friends, often it has been you yourself who has encouraged me
to have them published.
But the process is much more difficult than one
might think. However, I keep hoping that
somehow, somewhere, someway, a literary agent will see my work, and want to see
it in print.
Even though I have slowed considerably in posting an
entry to MDJunction, I still have enough prose and poetry to fill at least one
or two volumes.
I cannot tell you just how happy that would make me
feel!
I thank you—my dearest friends—for so many things;
for befriending me, when I though only few people cared; and for your
understanding, support, and encouragement all along the way.
I wish for you no pain, distress, or
depression. May you not know want, but
have plenty to enjoy, and to share.
I wish so much for you balmy, contemplative
afternoons. I wish you quiet when you
need quiet, and company, when you do not want to be alone.
I wish you freedom from Agoraphobia or panic
attacks.
And able to see all the natural wonder around you.
I wish that you be surrounded by family members,
friends (and, pets!), who love you for the wonderful person that you are.
Not least, I would wish you quiet and soothing
evenings, and a full night’s restorative sleep, as ever watched-over by gentle
angels.
And,
please, please always know that I think of you so very, very often, and that I
love you dearly!
‘Zahc’
“A
Special Anniversary That I Very Missed!”
06/23/14
As
always, to my very dearest friends and loyal readers,
(Wednesday,
May 14, 2014)
A fairly ordinary day; it might as well have been
Tuesday, or Saturday for the little that I do any more.
There were bouts of unspeakable pain…yes, with depression
and despair taking the life from me.
There is always hope that a medication, or, some
combinations of medication will provide at least temporary respite from agony.
It is on these days (twin to so many others) that I
feel most useless, afraid and alone.
Last week—while I was reading yet another wonderful ‘PM’
and hug, that I noticed something a little different.
After glancing briefly at my dreadful profile
picture, it suddenly hit me: Wednesday, May 14 marked my 3rd. year
anniversary at MDJunction!!!!!!!!!!!
I recall that late night, when I was overwhelmed by
pain and suffering (hurting—perhaps—as an animal hurts, of being in global
pain, but of not understanding why).
I turned to Google to look for ‘self-help’ groups,
and—among them—MDJ was figured most prominently.
Now dear friends, I must confess to you that I am
practically computer illiterate.
So, when I found the MDJ home page, I had completely
NO idea what to do, or how to navigate the site.
I gave it up for a lost cause, until I received a
most cordial email from Roy, welcoming me to the ‘Junction’.
Not long after that (in late July), I began writing
diary entries.
Now in those days, I used to write them directly at
the dashboard; so small, I could hardly read my own compositions.
These—too—were the days before merciful ‘Spellcheck’,
and when later I had occasion to review those early entries, I was both shocked
and embarrassed with the number of misspellings, and grammatical mistakes I had
made; surly, a high school freshman could have done better.
When I did begin to keep a diary, it seemed—on many
days—that I could hardly write it all down; I had NO conception of length,
topic drift, relevance; I wrote and wrote until my entries seemed to reach some
kind of ending.
I wrote on a number of subjects, and—as I did—I began
to receive friendship requests. I was
always grateful (and, surprised!) that someone wanted me for a friend.
At no other site have I found such wonderfully
caring, patient and encouraging members.
And soon, I began to write for you as much as for myself.
From the beginning, kind members would comment to my
diary entries; and, these were—almost without exception—warm, hopeful, and
understanding friends. More so,
frequently, than my local, ‘real time’ friends.
Your comments always make glad my heart. And-should at any time—an entry proved to be
of some, small hope, I gladly offered it up to the Creator Spirit as an
offering of gratitude.
And I began to amass a collection of entries, many
of which I am pleased with. They consist
of various exposition, the occasional ‘rant’, perhaps thirty or forty poems,
and, a ’hem…the odd entry that was restructured and re-posted.
Since late July of 2011, I have written 335 diary entries,
which have—altogether—received 954 wonderfully kind comments!
Now, I must confess to you may precious friends that
I have NO idea what a ‘hit’ is. Is it a
click on my diary? Does that a complete
view, or just a detour along the way?
I am hoping that someone with more knowledge about
these things will please explain it to me.
For—with the first diary entry—the ‘number’ of ‘hits’
were listed. They seemed, somehow, to be important to me; I began to keep track
of them afte a month or two.
I am hoping that I may be at least a little proud of
them. A few days ago, the number of ‘hits’
was a jaw-dropping 111,329!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It has been one of my most favorite day dreams to imagine
my entries to be collected and published.
My dearest friends, often it has been you yourself who has encouraged me
to have them published.
But the process is much more difficult than one
might think. However, I keep hoping that
somehow, somewhere, someway, a literary agent will see my work, and want to see
it in print.
Even though I have slowed considerably in posting an
entry to MDJunction, I still have enough prose and poetry to fill at least one
or two volumes.
I cannot tell you just how happy that would make me
feel!
I thank you—my dearest friends—for so many things;
for befriending me, when I though only few people cared; and for your
understanding, support, and encouragement all along the way.
I wish for you no pain, distress, or
depression. May you not know want, but
have plenty to enjoy, and to share.
I wish so much for you balmy, contemplative
afternoons. I wish you quiet when you
need quiet, and company, when you do not want to be alone.
I wish you freedom from Agoraphobia or panic
attacks.
And able to see all the natural wonder around you.
I wish that you be surrounded by family members,
friends (and, pets!), who love you for the wonderful person that you are.
Not least, I would wish you quiet and soothing
evenings, and a full night’s restorative sleep, as ever watched-over by gentle
angels.
And,
please, please always know that I think of you so very, very often, and that I
love you dearly!
‘Zahc’/Charles
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